


Oh Don't You Dare Look Back, Just Keep Your Eyes On Me

by revenblue



Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [43]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: AU where Heinz has a fear of backstories, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 09:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16302347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: "You see, all my life I've had an irrational fear ofbackstories."





	Oh Don't You Dare Look Back, Just Keep Your Eyes On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Perryshmirtz Week, day 1: Angst/Backstory. Managed both haha.

"So," your new nemesis says, once you're thoroughly trapped and gritting your teeth over the fact that this incompetent buffoon could trap you at all. "I bet you're wondering _why_ I'm doing all of this, huh? You _are_ wondering that, right? I can't tell with the, you know," he gestures at his head, "secret agent face- _whatever_ , you're wondering about it _now_ , it's like the thing where you're not supposed to think about pink elephants but of course that's _all_ you can think about..."

How is this man supposed to be a threat? It's been a slow few months, sure, but _seriously_? Slipping your paws from the restraints, you flex your fingers, ready to give this "Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz" a beating he won't soon forget. Maybe then he'll _shut up_.

But first, his "inator"-

"Don't even think about it," he snaps, without looking. "Just sit your hiney back down and _listen_. Didn't anyone ever tell you it's _rude_ to interrupt a man while he's monologuing? _Anywho_ , scheme, backstory, that's how we're supposed to do this, right? I tell you my evil scheme and why my life has led me to this, _then_ you punch me. So!" He spins around to face you, finger in the air, and... stops. Seconds pass, with the only movement being his eyes, jumping from you to his raised finger and back. "...So," he says again, deflating. "It all started... started when..." Face twisting in obvious distress, he mutters to himself, loud enough that you can hear. "Come on, Heinz, you've _practised_ this, you should be _past_ this. Stop being so _useless_."

You lower your fists, feeling uncomfortably like you're witnessing something you shouldn't. This wasn't in your training. Most evil scientists have an inflated idea of their own worth, no one ever told you what to do when you get the one who _doesn't_.

Sighing, he slumps, already defeated. "Sorry about this. I thought I was ready, but... You see, all my life I've had an irrational fear of _backstories_. How can I be a good evil scientist if I can't even backstory properly? It doesn't _work_ , that's how. So why bother?"

No. You narrow your eyes, growling in the back of your throat. This isn't over yet. You came here for a fight, your paws are itching for it, and you're not leaving until you get one.

If, by some miracle, he can keep up with you, then - and _only_ then - will you consider overlooking the whole _backstory_ thing.

"No, you're right," he says, a slow grin spreading across his face. "I'm Evil, you're here to stop me, I can't just give up _now_." Brandishing a spanner, he drops into a poor approximation of a fighting stance, obviously learned from movies. "Thwart me, Perry the Platypus, and don't you _dare_ hold back. I can take it."

* * *

Then he gives you the best fight of your life thus far.

* * *

One year later...

It'd been his idea to come to this small hole in the wall diner for lunch. Not that you could have refused, with him dragging you along by the paw. Also the fact that you can't refuse him _anything_ any more. Mostly the latter. It's a weakness, and one you're not sure he's aware of. He can be so _dense_ sometimes.

But here you are, chin on paw, willingly listening to him monologue at you through a mouthful of breadsticks. He still avoids backstories, but you've learned to see them in the shadow of his words, the tremendous pain he's had to endure.

"So how did you two meet?" your waitress - Heliotrope, her nametag reads - asks, arriving with your food. "Must be quite the story, a pair like you."

His fingers twitch around yours at the question, and you tear your gaze from his face to look up at her.

Squeezing back before he can freak out at the poor girl, you give her a polite smile. You'll handle this. A gesture with your free paw and she nods, disappearing to find you some paper to write on.

You suppose you do make quite the sight. An immaculately-groomed platypus sharing a meal with a tall man in a soot-stained lab coat is still enough to draw attention, even in _this_ city.

Or maybe she'd noticed the way your thumb's brushing over the back of his hand.

She returns quickly, sliding a pad of paper and a pen across the table. "Here you go. Is he," her eyes flick to Heinz, outwardly calm despite his panic, "shy or something?"

Nope. What he _is_ , is freaking out and trying not to show it. But if she wants to think Heinz is _shy_ , she can, it doesn't worry you. Better than the concerned questioning that makes everything worse.

You scribble down a quick message, answering her earlier question. _We met @ work. A year ago today._

"Really? Your first anniversary?" She seems surprised. No, not surprise, you decide, eyeing her faint grin. "You mean you _haven't_ been married for decades?" She's _teasing_ you.

Beside you, Heinz squirms, the start of a blush on his cheeks, flustered enough that you _know_ he's thought about it.

Which makes two of you.

Ever since he'd presented you with that ring box over the summer, you'd known in your heart that this was what you wanted, to spend your life with this man.

_Maybe someday_ , you write, below the previous note. _After he works up the courage to ask me._ You doubt it'll happen any other way. Whatever _scheme_ he has, and you know from the slight smile on his face that he has one, he'll get to it when he's ready. The wait may be long, but you're patient, and he's worth it.

"He must be quite the catch," Heliotrope says. "Anyway, I have to get back. Let me know if you need anything." With a wave, she disappears into the kitchen.

As soon as she's gone, Heinz slumps onto the table with a sigh. "Thank you, Perry the Platypus," he says, in a voice quiet enough not to carry to the empty tables around you, turning his head to meet your eyes. "I just couldn't- I wish I could be _stronger_."

You squeeze his hand again, giving him a soft smile. He's the strongest man you know, still standing even after everything the world's thrown at him, refusing to let it beat him down. It's a strength you can't help but admire. To you, he's already as strong as he needs to be.

In multiple senses of the word.

He's wrapped you in a crushing one-armed hug, tight enough that your ribs creak under the pressure, and your eyes water from the strength. "You're amazing, you know that?" he mumbles against your collarbone, fingers digging into your fur.

You appreciate the sentiment, you _do_ , but you need him to lay off so you can _breathe_. Slapping at his shoulder, you growl with what little breath you have, and _finally_ he lets go.

"Sorry, Perry the Platypus, I just-"

A finger over his mouth and he shuts up, blushing again. You don't want to hear it. If his quirks bothered you, you wouldn't be here today. Curling your paw around the back of his neck, you pull his forehead to yours, staring into his deep blue eyes.

He sighs into you, finally smiling again. "You know, Perry the Platypus..." he says, running his fingers through your fur, then pauses. "Our food's getting cold."

Is that all? You roll your eyes, pulling back, and shove his plate across the table at him. He always orders the same thing at these places, some sort of indeterminate stew you've never found on the menu afterwards. You'd tried it once, out of curiosity. Never again. But he likes it. It's some sort of comfort food for him, you think, although of course you've never asked.

Digging into your own seafood platter - sans shellfish, he's terrified of them - you give his hand another squeeze. You may not know his past but you know, whatever it contains, it's led him here with you. That's all you've ever needed to know.

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from [Shut Up And Dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjdIJ5ZSpSk) by Walk The Moon.


End file.
